Homage To A Floor

Fabiola dances on a tangent.

Today I took a few moments to scrub grout lines in the back hall. There are few times in life that can be as fufilling as being able to indulge oneself in dancing to Disco music at full volume, while maintaining the pristine condition of the grout lines in a tile floor. (Entire post on THAT subject sometime in the future).

As I scrubbed, I glanced up at the walls, then back down at the floor I was working on.

I love my tile floor. The man that installed that tile invested time on that floor, he placed, rearranged, stood back, contemplated and moved pieces until that floor was as harmonious as he could make it. In appreciation, when it was my turn to paint the walls over that floor, I used the same method, only using paint. Everyone that saw me working on those walls, splopping paint here and there, scrubbing and feathering, more splopping, more scrubbing ... you get the idea. Everyone declared me to be out of my mind. I didn't care, I created an homage to the craftmanship that went into my floor.

My homage to a floor.

Fabiola asks you. Have you ever decided to do something creative and despite the fact that everyone doubted you, you created anyway and surpassed even your own hopes?

Liverwurst Pineapple (who could resist?)

You have been on pins and needles, haven't you? You have been wondering when-oh-when is Fabiola going to post the recipe and assembly instructions for her Liverwurst Pineapple?

Here it is!

First cut the top off of a fresh Pineapple leaving about 1 inch of the pineapple underneath the leaves for a base. Place the Pineapple Top on the top of a Mason Jar (Lid on). Set aside.

Mix 2 Pounds Liver Sausage, 1 tablespoon fresh Lemon Juice, 1-1/2 teaspoons Worcestershire Sauce and 1/2 cup real Mayonnaise. Shape around the Mason Jar (with lid on). Chill in the refrigerator while you work on the next step.

In a mixing bowl, Soften 4 teaspoons Unflavored Gelatine in 4 tablespoons cold water. (stir the gelatine into the water let rest 3 - 5 Minutes). Dissolve over Hot Water (do not add hot water to the gelatine!). Add 2 cups Mayonnaise and a couple of drops orange food coloring to the gelatine. Mix well. Chill until the consistency of frosting.

Frost Liverwurst "Pineapple" with the gelatine / mayonnaise mixture. Make lines just through the "frosting" to form diamond shapes on the pineapple. Decorate the center of each diamond shape by pressing a slice from a pimento stuffed green olive into the center of each diamond shape.

Serve with crackers.

EDIT and Note! (yes 7 years later - Darlings the Fab plays the long game, always)

Over on chowhound.com CayJohan - made this recipe and had trouble getting the liverwurst to stand around the mason jar.  Decided to make a loaf / lying down half pineapple instead. Genius!  Better than the original and boat loads faster!  Standing Slow Clap Darling!


Other Recipes you may like:

Chili Soup -

Orient(al) Pork - 

Fabiola Goes Whole Hog

A Post filled with actual useful information. Useful if you are into buying pork one hundred plus pounds at a time, that is.

Celebrate the end of August Full Moon! (Or celebrate a time reasonably close to the August full moon weighted by the readiness of the latest bunch ‘o feeder hogs from the farmer. This is a variable holiday.) Where was I? Ah! The waxing of the August moon! Days are warm, nights are cool, the goldenrod is in full bloom. And thanks to the modern deep freezer, it is the perfect time to celebrate hog killin’. Fabiola is country don't cha know?

All Hog Killin’s are a festival of three weights. (The best things come in threes, you know that.) Regardless, I start the celebration by calling up my local hog farmer, to lay claim to one of his hogs. This is a known fact: Get to know the farmer, hog farmers are generally fine people – do not, however, ask to be introduced to the actual hogs. It is best that way. Once you name them, you will not want to serve them to your relatives.

I double-check as to which processor the farmer is taking the hogs. (You didn’t think that Fabiola was going to slaughter her own hog did you?)

That was a rhetorical question dear.

On the day after the farmer delivers the hog, I call the processor to ask what my hog weighed. Weight one is the “live weight” and it means exactly what it sounds like. Live weight is the weight that the farmer bills for based on market price. In the same call, I tell them how I want my hog butchered. Yep, like standing at the meat counter of the grocery, only ordering meat for three months and one whopping big party too boot. Really, it is thrilling! Any event, if the hog has been killed and hung, I ask for the “hanging weight”. Imagine. Hook, cooler ::nodding:: that. Hanging weight is my celebration’s second weight, and the weight that the processor uses to calculate his charge.

Depending upon whether or not I want my bacon, hams and hocks, cured and smoked, in about a week to ten days, the processor will call and I will go to pick up my order. The third weight of my August Full Moon Extravaganza of Pork is the processed weight or the actual weight of the meat that I pick-up. Rule of thumb, I will take home in pounds about half the live weight of the hog, more or less (but not much less or someone is going to be explaining why).

This August’s Hog weighed:
219 pounds live weight
146 pounds hanging weight
110.5 pounds processed

I put in my freezer:

28.5 pounds of assorted chops
7.5 pound fresh ham roast
6.5 pound fresh arm roast
12.5 pounds of country ribs
3.5 pounds of spare ribs
12.0 pounds of ham steaks
7.0 pounds of smoked hocks
11.5 pounds of bacon
21.5 pounds of sausage patties

Now for the fun part of the celebration! After the hog is safely in the freezer, on the evening of the full moon, I build a small fire in the fire pit, toast marshmallows (even if you aren’t tired of thinking about pork chops – right at that point I am). Make S’Mores, drink hot chocolate laced with crème De Menthe, dance in the moon light and sing a song from my childhood:

When it’s hog killin’ time in Nebraska,
When it’s hog killin’ time in Nebraska …

Fabiola's Best Instant Slimming Secret!

Fabiola's Best Instant Slimming Secret!

No starving or munching on rabbit food required. It is fast, it is easy, and it is effective! This slimming secret works instantly just before you head out the door!

This is how to perform the magic!
After styling your hair, perfecting your make-up, choosing the perfect outfit, matching your shoes and bag, you stand in front of a 3-way mirror. (A three-way mirror is one that has two side mirror panels hinged to a central mirror.)

http://www.fixturepronto.com/mirror_3way.htm <--- if you still aren't sure, link to a photo. [ Fabiola promises to figure out how to insert photos in her posts very soon.]

The link takes you to a lovely mirror, if your decor is commercial / high-tech or you need a sturdy mirror that will take a lot of use. Fabiola wants one in every room of her home.

Back to the magic!
Move the panels until all three sections are flat, making one big mirror (not that you need a big mirror dear! Not at all!). We are creating magic here, so bear with me! Center yourself where either the left or right side hinges to the middle panel. (Fabiola always chooses the left side because while both views are wonderful, the left is just so slightly better, if that is possible.)

Have you centered yourself (in a physical, not a metaphysical way)? Great! Now, reach out and move the side panel of the mirror in just slightly. Look! Ten pounds erased in an instant! This works every time!

Whirlwind or Walden?

In my last post, I started talking about my early years, the all important "what put the Fab in Fabiola", for the moment, I am bored with that. You will have that with me. You will. And that is just fine.

It is a known fact that I am just fine exactly the way that I am. I would like to extend that idea to encompass you too. You are just fine the way that you are. Granted, you are no Fabiola. But, you are you – maybe just not you enough yet. Fabiola hopes to help you with that.

I suppose that this should appear somewhere in the title or about me placed with more importance than just lumped into the middle of a post to be left or moved later. This would be another thing that you will have with me.

One of Fabiola's favorite quotes:

"If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again,
I won't look any further than my own backyard,
because if it isn't there,
I never really lost it to begin with." - Dorothy to Glinda "The Wizard of Oz"

Ok, so it aint Thoreau.
My life has always been more whirlwind than walden anyway.

Fabiola Entertains (The Early Years)

The time that I, Fabiola, masterfully recreated a Delarobia wreath using Lime Jell-o and marzipan came later in life, but hints of that developing skill appeared early.

That may lead you to wonder what cosmic forces, which fortuitous alignment of the planets, the sequence of events created a being as wondrous as yours truly, Fabiola.

I grew-up in the days when liverwurst coerced into the shape of a pineapple and surrounded by bacon-flavored crackers appeared as the buffet centerpiece of summer celebrations. Liverwurst. Pate would never deign to appear in public shaped as a tropical fruit. Liverwurst, while suspiciously similar to the fancy French stuff, is not too snooty to have some fun.

Orient(al) Pork - A Recipe For Folk Who Already Know How to Cook

Orient(al) Pork

Orient(al) as in Orient Correctional Institution - Fabiola first created this recipe on the evening following a visit to a former beau. This beau became "former" just prior to gaining the new title of "inmate" at that medium security facility. The visit has nothing to do with the dish, other than after spending a day traveling and hearing heavy metal gates crash behind one, a gal wants a dinner that is both fast and pleasantly aromatic.

Ingredients in order of use:

Pork - 1 pound (or so) - Cut in 1/2" Cubes

Oil -- Enough to coat the bottom of your pan
Regarding the cooking oil, use whatever kind you prefer: Lard, Butter, EVOO, Peanut, Corn, Vegetable -Fabiola uses Peanut Oil - (ahem), but if Fabiola recommended that - some would jump up and down shouting and waving their arms like they just got a Bingo and the words they would be shouting -- "Extra Virgin Olive Oil" - you know who you are.

Garlic Powder

Onion Powder

Salt

Pepper

Celery Seed, Crushed

Light Sesame Oil

Brown Sugar

Maple Syrup - 2 or 3 Tablespoons (more or less)
Fabiola uses real Maple Syrup Boiled Down from actual Maple Tree Sap Only - seriously, if all you have is the flavored corn syrup kind, make pancakes.

Blackstrap Molasses - 1 or 2 tablespoons
Your Grandmother was right, it IS good for you. Use it more.

Nutmeg
Just a sprinkle

Maggi Sweet Chili Sauce (1/4 of a 10.1 oz Bottle)

Instructions:

CUBE Pork, SPRINKLE with Garlic Powder, Onion Powder, Salt, Pepper, Crushed Celery Seed, TOSS.

HEAT Oil in Fry Pan - Medium Heat (you knew that) - Lightly BROWN Pork Cubes In Oil.

REDUCE HEAT to low.

ADD Light Sesame Oil, TOSS. ADD Brown Sugar, Blackstrap Molasses, Maple Syrup, Nutmeg, Chili Sauce, TOSS.

SIMMER until the pork is cooked through and the sauce has reduced.

SERVE over rice.

Fabiola declares this to be a recipe for people who already know how to cook, because she doesn't specify quantities on most of the ingredients. In keeping with the nature of Title - this is a "Zen" recipe, use your intuition.

It Is A Known Fact ...

It is a known fact that if you post even a tiny piece of slightly embroidered information, some wiseacre will insist upon pointing out reality. Ahem.

I received a concerned note from a reader who mentioned their belief that the town of Berne doesn't really exist. It doesn't (anymore). Wiped flat by a strip mine (which incidentally improved the heck out of it), Berne is a metaphor. And to my dear reader; I have read your blog, you write in metaphor, I choose to live in one. Tell me that there is a difference.

You May Have Noticed ...

You may have noticed that in my recipe below I call for 1/3 cup of maraschino cherries then omit any mention of them in the assembly instructions. Why? The cherries do not go in the salad, they go into the cook. They taste better if you use this dipping sauce for them.

2 ounces blended whiskey (Fabiola prefers Kesslers)

1 ounce sweet vermouth

5 dashes bitters

just a splash of southern comfort

Dr. Pepper to taste.

You may call it a modified Manhattan, I call it dipping sauce (before noon anyway).

White Trash Salad

It is a know fact that no matter how perfect your beehive, no matter how spotless your white gloves, no matter how confident you are in yourself and your choices, there are those that will, perhaps, disagree.
I, personally, celebrate the arrival of Spring (and any other festive occasion) with a salad made of fruit and whipped topping. Frozen fruit salad, fruit enrobed in drifts of whipped topping representing the exit of winter and the entrance of spring. I look on this ritual as drama, a connection to the great continuum of the turning seasons, food fraught with meaning not to mention frozen fruit salad is just yummy!
However, as stated above, there are those that have not embraced their inner Fabiola and therefore do not understand the symbolism and yummyness of Frozen Fruit Salad. Therefore they refer to my extravaganza and celebration of spring (and any other festive occasion) as "White Trash Salad". How sad for them, they have not embraced their inner Fabiola, they do not understand the beauty of the beehive hairdo.
Frozen Fruit Salad (a celebration of Spring and any other festive occasion)
1 tablespoon (1 envelope) unflavored gelatin
1/4 cup cold water
2 cups fruit cocktail
1/2 cup Miracle Whip (not mayonnaise from a jar, not hoity toity homemade fresh fresh fresh, handmade mayonnaise, - tangy salad dressing, I mean it).
1 container Cool Whip (you can substitute your favorite whipped topping)
1/3 cup maraschino cherries
1/3 cup chopped pecans
Soften gelatine in cold water, dissolve over hot water - do not add hot water! Place your bowl containing the gelatine and cold water inside another bowl containing hot water - stir until gelatine is completely dissolved. Cool slightly. Add the fruit cocktail (with syrup). Fold in Miracle Whip, Cool Whip and chopped pecans
Pour into an 8x8 freezer safe container or gelatine mold, place in freezer until just firm. Cut the barely frozen salad into squares and serve.


Side Note: The maraschino cherries are optional Fabiola uses them like this:

Maraschino Cherries with Dipping Sauce

You, dear reader, may be somewhat more traditional. If you want the cherries in your frozen fruit salad, drain the maraschino cherries, pat dry with paper towels. Fold into the salad mixture last, just before freezing. Your salad will turn a lovely shade of pink.

Just Warming Up

La la la, la la. Hmmmm. la LA LA la la.
Just warming up here folks.

Why Marriages Lasted Longer Back When

It is a known fact that marriages lasted longer in the fifties and sixties because of' women's foundation garments.
Not talking about that whole male, visual, keep him interested lingerie hogwash. I mean, make the clothes look good rubber and steel pallet strapping monstrosities that kept us cinched in and hoisted up in a way that only Rube Goldberg could have imagined, girdles. Worked like a twitch does on a horse when you are trying to saddle them for the first time. The best way to distract a creature from something unpleasant is to have them wear something worse. My take on the subject.