Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Dressing in Layers for work out in the cold.


Gentlemen, please avert your eyes, the animation at the bottom of this page is intended as educational material for the Ladies. If you are thinking Victoria's Secret model in oh so sexy underwear, wow are you in for a surprise.  And don't come crying to Fabiola if after this warning, you scroll down and the image of the Fab in her danties is burned onto your retinas for all time. 
Ladies! I don't know what the temperature has been like 'round your part of the world, but here in Fabiola Land, this morning, the thermometer read 18 degrees, with wind. What does a gal do on days like this, when she has to spend some time outside working? (Actually, Mary had to go out and horrible creature that she is, she dragged the Fab with her.) To battle cold temperatures, a gal dresses in layers!
No, not one cute contrasting T-shirt over another layers; layers designed to prevent frostbite layers. As much as the Fab hates to admit it, this is something that Mary knows a little bit about. Back to the layers ...  this instructional is for serious killer cold, below zero cold, for winter warm days like today, omit a layer or two.
1. Basics - unmentionables of your choice plus 2 pair of cotton or silk knit socks. Yes, two.
2. Bright Red Wool long johns, or similar garmet. Wool is best, yes it can be scratchy, so what? It is warm. And a thick pair of wool knit socks. The ones with the bright red dot on the toe are great for wearing and for turning into sock monkeys.
3. Loose jeans and a heavy wool or cotton sweater, natural fabrics only gals, fake-a-roo's don't insulate as well. They don't.  Unless you buy the special made for cold insulation fake a roo materials.  Here the Fab is talking about acrylics, and our friends poly and ester.
4. Snow boots, the ones with the insulated take out liner, yes they will make your feet look big, but compared to what the next layer is going to do to the look of your behind, your feet will seem downright dainty.
5. Insulated coveralls. The kind with the quilted lining and the legs that zip open at the bottom so that you can get them over your gigantic booted feet.
6. Polar Fleece jacket and earband. Don't skip the earband, it will keep the next step from leaving knit cap dents in your forehead.
7. Insulated vest (keeping your core warm is very important). Two thick knit watch caps, one over the other. The Fab prefers blaze orange (it isn't like a gal is going to go unnoticed in this get-up so why not make sure that you can be spotted from the space shuttle?)
8. Down Jacket, then gloves in multiple layers. The Fab wears two pair of cotton string knit gloves with winter jersey work gloves over them (at least).
Yes, this outfit will make you look fat. Fortunately in the Fab's case she started out that way, so that isn't such the issue. When working out in the cold, warm is better than waffer thin regardless.

Dressing In Layers

Darlings.  You looked didn't you.  Told ya.

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