Tuesday, August 26, 2014

You CAN`T Fail at this diet ... Or ... The Great Cream Horn Incident of 2013




Darlings!  You are fabulous, you are! Working on your food journal?  Working on walking or other exercise?  Slowly eliminating added sugar and salt from your food?  Excellent!

As the Fab has told you Mary discovered umm, finally listened to the advice that has been out there forever and a day, that if she tracks the calories that she eats, and burns more calories than she eats, even by a little bit, she will loose weight.  Even if, say, one day when she drove to town to pick up the fella's lunch, and a few items at the grocery, and there on the display, by the check-out, was a stack of vanilla creme horns. Five curled pastries on a tray,  all greasy and sweet and golden, sparkling in their plastic packaging, they got the best of her.  Mary bought them.  Then.  She ripped them open as soon as she got in the car.  As she drove the three blocks from Walmart to the McDonald`s -- she ate three of them in the MOST undignified manner.  She was, in fact, still chomping as she placed an order for the fella's lunch.

Why in the world would the Fab tell you this?  People have weak moments.  Mary has bought into those diets where you have to eat exactly this, at exactly that moment, some sort of food combining, chemical hocus-pocus, where one misstep, and she had RUINED the diet mojo entirely.  Have you been there?  Guaranteed failure.  Mary never unlearned one bad habit by following a trendy diet.  She never developed good eating habits either.   Now, the Fab is not saying easy, or fast, but tracking calories, eating consciously, exercising, DID become habits with Mary.  She does, however, have moments from time to time, like the Great Creme Horn Incident of 2013.  And that too, is ok.  She is human.  So are you darlings.  Keep at it!  The Fab believes in you.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Fiber is Your Friend ... Eat your Veggies!

Darlings, that awful Mary has had the Fab locked in the bottom drawer of the vidmar for the last few days.  The vidmar (in this case) is a heavy set of tool drawers, where Mary keeps her grinder.  Just as well darlings, Mary has spent a goodly part of the last few days with said grinder, inside a steel tank, removing rust and rough spots.  Great arm work out by the way. The Fab is thanking her lucky stars that she was nowhere near that dust.  No beehive do could withstand that amount of powdered steel, or the flying yellow hot sparks that come flying off the grinder.  The Fab's do would go up in flames!

Where was I?  Oh, yes, fiber.

Darlings, fiber is your friend. Fennel, celery, spinach, apples, broccoli, cauliflower, kale are all full of fiber.  It will keep you feeling full longer.  Plus Bonus!  The time you will spend brushing and flossing after eating these items gives your stomach time to let you know that it is full.

Now, Mary when she knows that she is going somewhere where the food pushers are going to be out in full force, grabs a glass of water and a tablespoon of fiber in a jar, mixes, drinks.  Takes the edge off.  Makes it possible for her to say a polite "No thank-you" to tempting treats instead of just, oh, say, grabbing that cookie or whatever out of the offering hand and stuffing it in her face as fast as she can.  Please note Darlings, I am telling you what Mary does, not suggesting that you do it.  Consult your medical professional, nutritionist, read and follow all label directions all the usual.  I mean, Mary also downs two shots of brown liquor before she goes out too.  She has social issues.  But she is as regular as all giddy-up.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

The Fab's Case for SLOW Weight Loss ... Still On Sun Tsu's Chapter 1 - Laying Plans



The Fab's somewhat fractured case for SLOW weight loss.

1. Sorta Sciency - You are a complex biological system Darlings. You are. In complex biological systems, major changes made fast are, in reality, shocks to the system.  In the Fab's opinion, shocking can be useful for swimming pools that have gone all green and slimy.  Shocking is 'a thing' in the electric eel world. Are you a slimy green swimming pool?  No? You aren't, by chance, an eel?  No? Then maybe consider slow. Slow is Graceful, gradual, like a swan gliding on a lake Darlings.


2.  Sorta Scary - Imagining yourself as a Swan on a lake not working for you? Let the Fab tell you a Mary story.  Now, we have mentioned that Mary is crabby and anti-social, she is also, (how to say this delicately ...) Mary is old.  Okay, maybe not exactly old, not cool old like 80 or 90, just aint no spring chicken no more old.  Over 50 old.  Darlings the Fab has a point, truly she does.

When she was young, Mary's skin would snap right back after one of her endless repetitions of a 5 or 10 pound weight loss.  Not so much anymore. As Mary was contemplating the bio-mechanics of loosing weight, to her horror, she hit on a visual of visitors arriving at her home after she had lost weight.  She imagined herself springing from the porch waving madly.  Springing and waving, stepping off the porch while her jiggly loose flaps and folds of skin followed along 2 steps behind her like those of an old bloodhound.

Call it vanity, call it what you will, Mary decided on slow just as much because she wanted her skin to keep up with her weight loss as because a weight loss of 1 or 2 pounds a week is wise.

Motivating the motivators - A Quick Note From the Fab

Darlings, you look marvelous today!  You do!  You have been working on your food journal?  OUTSTANDING!  The Fab is proud of you!


A quick note to folk that are acting as either a good example, or a support group member, Mary told the Fab that playing the long game in weight loss (30 pounds or more) is the hardest thing that she has ever done. -  Fab is whispering here, Mary aint all that smart, so she has to be tough, in fact her nickname is the Ice Queen if that gives you an idea of what she is like, and she said HARDEST THING EVER.  

Be proud of the loss of every pound that your friend looses, tell them!  Be giddy over every changed bad habit.  If you have never had a significant long term weight problem, you have no idea what a battle changing those bad habits is.  Believe in your friends. The Fab believes in you.  You can do it.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Real Life Math

DLF > DNF > DNS


Translation:

Dead Last Finish is greater than 

Did Not Finish is greater than 

Did Not Start.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Eat Breakfast Every Day - Options Darlings - Chocolate Orange Coffee

Morning Coffee                                                                                           

Coffee - Brewed from grounds, 1 cup (8 fl oz)
200050Ico_delete
Metamucil - Smooth Texture Orange, 1 rounded Tbsp (12g)45120059Ico_delete
Kroger - Whey & Soy Protein Chocolate Powder, 2 scoops (32g)1204125901Ico_delete
Milk - Whole Milk, 0.5 cup75644606

242 calories

Darlings - this is Mary's almost every morning breakfast.  Minutes.  Who has time first thing in the morning?  It tastes almost ... kinda sorta ...  ok, not too much at all, but headed in the direction of being like a Starbucks Mocha Valencia latte.

Quick Note: Remember when the Fab said that Mary took a goodly 8 months to eliminate sugar and salt from her diet?  This coffee started out with about a tablespoon of Hershey's syrup in it too.  She slowly cut that back until it was gone.  Now she doesn't even miss it.

Eat Breakfast Every Morning - Options Darlings! Green Goddess Smoothie

Green Goddess Smoothie

1 cup unsweetened almond milk - 40 calories               
Handfuls of spinach and / or kale until you fill the blender. -  34 calories per cup
Blend for about 1 minute 
Add 1/2 or whole banana - 105 calories for 1 medium
1/2 c frozen mango - 60 calories
1/4 c frozen pineapple  unsweetened -  25 calories
Blend for another minute and you are done!


264 Calories and A tasty way to get greens into your diet!

Friday, August 15, 2014

Mary's World 4 Food Groups ... (Or you think that you have it tough)

Darlings, The Fab has realized that she has been remiss in giving you background information on Mary.  The Fab forgets that you don't know Mary.  No loss darlings, Mary is crabby and anti-social, without the Fab she would be a mess.

Regardless.





The Four Food Groups in Mary's World  are as follows:

1. Pan Fried, and Battered and Deep Fried

2. Beef and Bacon

3. Potatoes and Sweet Corn

4. Things the Fella won't eat.

Raising my metaphorical hand and swearing it to be true, I, Fabiola, declare that with my help, Mary managed to change what she eats and loose weight DESPITE the fella who insists on eating like he lives in a greasy spoon diner.  What is a gal to do?  Darlings, The Fab has no idea what you are going to do, but Mary fabricated a figment who bears a remarkable resemblance to the best possible -- Truck Stop Waitress / best friend a gal could ever have.

Mary cooks at least dinner every day and most days she cooks his while she makes hers.  It IS possible Darlings.  She grits her teeth and gets through it.  It gets easier for her the more she does it.  Of course, it is also very helpful to have the always patient, always gracious, Fab suggesting that what Mary is making is better in every way than the slop that the fella is about to eat.


For Mary, Weight Loss is partly what she eats, partly how much she exercises, mostly what goes on in her head.   Just sayin` Darlings.

You can do it!  The Fab believes in you.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

If You Kinda Sorta Try - You Kinda Sorta Get Results

More on Sun Tsu later. For now Darlings, The Fab is going to share with you one of the ideas that Mary worked on getting into her head.  It is this phrase:

"If You Kinda Sorta Try - You Kinda Sorta Get Results"

She repeated it to herself when she knew that she was being a little lazy.